Zombies Everywhere

This is a shock to absolutely nobody, but zombies have definitely ruled pop culture for the last few years. Sure, there was that whole sparkly vampire thing a couple of years back, but, even through that, the zombies permeated. I get it. There’s something appealing about random shambling hordes, all moving towards one goal, without any sort of disparate sentient thought to allow them to stand out from the pack.

In many ways, zombies are just an extension of how civilization currently acts between Black Friday and Christmas.


We just need a PS4 and a copy of the newest Madden game.

I mean, if you just look at last weekend, there was the start of a new season for “Southern Zombie Hunter Lovers” (full disclosure, they love each other, and aren’t big zombie fans), there was at least one incredibly large zombie pub crawl, and there was a completely dead system of government.

Alright, that last bit wasn’t fair. It wasn’t totally dead. It’s just playing dead, like an opossum.

And now, just like the zombies of the cinema, the government is lurching back to life. Or, at least, it’s pretending to. The one group of elected officials who gets along slightly less poorly with each other is putting together a way to try and get our current shutdown (which has certainly affected the quality of government cheese) to be delayed, at least for a little while. Of course, they can’t do it on their own, so they’ll need a ragtag group of survivors from the other group (who really can barely even stand to be in the same room as each other on a daily basis) to think it’s a good enough plan to move forward. It’s a can’t fail proposition!


I just want to legislate! Please let me govern!

Except, as just about every zombie story has taught us, within every well-meaning group of survivors, there’s always a small faction that’s just too focused on their own personal gain to allow everyone to live happily ever after. The Governor in “The Walking Dead”. Dennis Hopper in “Land of the Dead”. Ted Cruz. And that small faction always finds a way to get themselves into the middle of even the best laid plans.

So, celebrate while you can, everyone. The zombie known as the American government has a chance of lurching to life, but there’s just as fair of a chance that it’ll remain in deep slumber. Because, while it’s getting a quick jolt of life into it right now, it might not be quite enough to get it to rise again, let alone to shamble across the land.

But, as any old-school role-player knows, that’s potentially good for the government. With enough time, and powerful magic, they might be able to skip straight past the zombie stage, and our system of laws could be brought back to life as a lich.

Or, you know, rocks could fall and everyone dies.