The Walking Dumb, Fear It!: Season 1, Episode 3 – The Dog

It’s never a good sign when a television show (or movie, or video game) decides that they need to add an animal to the cast. That’s usually a sign that whoever is in charge knows that the humans can’t generate enough empathy on their own, so throwing a domesticated animal (generally a dog, because cats are jerks) on-screen gives the audience something to actually care about. So what does it say when a show relies on that trick already in the third episode? Or, even worse, not only trots out an animal, but names the episode after it? Well, we all got to find out this past week on Fear the Walking Dead, because our intrepid family of not-actually-getting-out-of-towners got to interact with a neighborhood pooch. Of course, given the universe that this show is set in, things didn’t really go all that well, but we shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, the show seems to have a penchant for making sure that the smartest, most effective characters either bite the bullet through no fault of their own, or they get progressively dumber as the seasons tick past. So, which of our two-legged compatriots made this week’s list? Let’s check it out!

FTWD0103

Thanks, Obamacare.

5. Nick

Look, Nick, we get that those clothes you are wearing are super comfortable. I mean, they even fit perfectly, for stuff you just happened to throw on. And we get that you’re going through some nasty withdrawal. It’s just that you’ve now spent at LEAST 20 hours in the house. Which, while it has been having power issues, probably still has running water. So, you know, you could get cleaned up. And change clothes. Perhaps into something of your own? Just saying… you’re going to start to stink. And not in a good way, like the Georgia crew.

4. Daniel

So, you don’t want to stick with the people who helped you out, basically saving your tail at the barbershop, because you don’t want to be “in debt” to someone. You know, actually, that makes sense. It’s the same reason I don’t tend to borrow video games or books from people. Except for the fact that you’re in a terrible apocalyptic situation, and maybe there’s some additional safety that could be gained from grouping with people who have already sacrificed for you once. But really, it’s your own fault that you could even be in that situation, since, when discussing the plan upon leaving the barbershop, your words were that you should all run in different directions. Maybe there’s a different geography course where you went to school, but “different directions” is not in a single-file line towards one destination.

3. Madison

Let’s see… there’s the whole “agreeing with Travis to stay in the house overnight” thing. There was the “shining giant flashlights out the window at the neighbor that clearly had something wrong with him” thing, alerting him to your presence. But taking the cake? How about trying to push the issue with the National Guardsman, and refusing to back down in the slightest, but quickly covering for the recently dug grave? Look, even if this wasn’t a biblical plague sweeping across the country, you probably wouldn’t get any answers. Now you see how they’re eliminating the reanimated, and you think you’re going to get anything out of them? You’ve got a better chance getting Nick to change out of those darned clothes.

2. Travis

You’ve seen one of the creatures up close and personal. You’ve seen the giant bite on Matt. And yet you still think it’s just people getting “sick”? Still, that doesn’t compare in the slightest to your total about-face on the need to leave town as quickly as possible. I know a lot happened, but in the morning, it was imperative to get everyone together (your ex-wife and your son, along with your current girlfriend and her kids) to get as far from the city as possible. The riot may have scrambled your thinking a bit, but one would assume wrestling with your deceased neighbor as he tries to bite your face off would get you focused. Especially given that the body was dropped inside your house, with little bits of brain matter on your wall. But no, let’s just stay here, overnight. Forget about that whole “get to the desert as quickly as possible” thing. Why would you want to leave? It’s so cozy with a destroyed walker.

1. The Clark Family

Let’s just ignore every other transgression over the course of this episode, and focus on one big one. With the world ending all around you, you guys decide to pass the time waiting for Travis by playing Monopoly, of all things? You people really don’t like each other, do you?

That does it for this week! More stupidity is bound to come around the corner, as we inch closer to the main attraction that is the season premiere of The Walking Dead.

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