The Nugget Chronicles: Does Not Compute

Let me first start off by saying that we try not to indulge Nugget too much. She’s got her toys (although her favorite toys may just be HawtWife’s shoes). She gets a dog to cuddle and torment whenever she wants. We take her to fun places, almost all of which have brightly colored fish for her to watch. But we don’t think we indulge her too much. We think we indulge her just the right amount (besides, she’s a toddler, and there’s a certain amount of indulging that has to happen). Which is why I’m probably amongst the most surprised to realize that my daughter has a tablet.

Yes, my darling Nugget has a tablet computer. With a touch screen. And apps.

Neither HawtWife nor I have a tablet, but Nugget does. I mean, it actually does make a certain amount of sense. After all, by the time she enters kindergarten, she clearly will not only be expected to read, but she’ll probably be expected to work up accurate schematics on whatever the holographic display of preference is. And it’s not like we’re giving her a smart phone, or even allowing her to have access to something with a Wi-Fi connection that she can access herself. It’s just a tablet. One that’s preloaded with a bunch of stuff for her to learn and experiment.

Still, the fact that Nugget has a tablet is a little weird to me.

That said, she clearly loves the thing. If you measure the size of the meltdown by the amount of fun just before the meltdown, she has THE MOST FUN ever when she’s using it. She gets to color (without making a mess, which is a huge plus in my book). She gets to associate animals with the sounds that they make. She gets to, um, swipe her fingers (index on the right hand, middle on the left) rapidly across the screen, making things happen in a way that make older eyes go a little bit batty. She gets limited amounts of time to sit with her touch screen, and she can make things happen. It’s actually lead to her being less concerned with trying to steal our phones and e-book readers constantly, which really is another advantage. And it isn’t like we’re sitting her down with the tablet, and then walking away to go and do adult things, like clean or hang pictures. She’s always got a parent right there with her, and I’m truly in favor of her learning new technology as she grows up.

I mean, if she doesn’t start learning the new tech now, who’s going to help me when I need to program the refrigerator, so that I can get my stories recorded? And who will tell the toilet which video game I want queued up first? These are the kinds of things I need a smart, tech-acclimated child for, so starting her out with a tablet already just makes good sense.

Now if only they could come up with fancy technology to distract babies from teething pain.

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