The Nugget Chronicles: First Halloween

Halloween has long been one of my favorite holidays. It easily beats out Christmas, the New Year, and Arbor Day. Because my memory is a little faulty at times, I don’t remember if I loved it as much when I was a child, but that could also be that, as a kid, Halloween was less about the holiday itself and everything about it than it was about the candy. Although, full disclosure, I still love the candy.

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How does that ghost even wear a pumpkin head? I thought they were incorporeal.

Anyway, this year, with Nugget being here, HawtWife and I are entering a new era for our personal Halloween celebrations. No longer am I putting myself out in the cold working at a haunted house for weeks on end. Gone are the days of the horror movie marathons starting at noon and ending somewhere in the middle of November 1. And it’s certainly time for me to retire my Slutty Big Bird costume (truth be told, that thing needed to get retired years ago). But with Nugget, we get to experience the joy of teaching the next generation about our favorite holiday. And we’ll get to remember all of the warnings that we were told when we were kids, how ridiculous they seemed at the time, and how we’re totally going to use them ourselves to make sure that Nugget is careful. And to steal her candy.

Of course, with a baby, especially one that isn’t quite three months old, the first question that has to be answered is costuming. Nugget isn’t walking, so any sort of costume that would require that for maximum cuteness is completely out the window. Heck, if we’d stolen the LED light idea, it would just be a little LED stick figure being carried around. I mean, sure, I’ve got plenty of black clothes, but I think the illusion gets ruined by a baby carrier. And, well, while the idea of a little Professor Xavier is adorable, Nugget has both too much hair and a lack of ability to sit up quite yet making that costume go straight out the window.

As it turns out, though, the answer is simple, and has been done since time immemorial. With children that small, you simply have to costume them as some sort of animal. Or a food. Preferably a vegetable or fruit, but that’s because nobody wants to look at their child dressed up as a piece of meat (that’ll happen in college, trust me). So HawtWife and I have stumbled on a simple costume, one that could be adapted down the road. And, it’s a little amusing, at least to us, because we’re slightly disturbed individuals.

See, Nugget is a Leo. The lion. Fierce and proud. Naturally, for Halloween, we got her a little animal costume. And she’ll be dressed up as (insert drum roll) a lamb. Because, clearly, we’ve decided that Halloween is opposite day for Nugget. However, what this lamb costume allows us to do is to bundle her up in something warm, all with an adorable hat and little shoes. It’ll be cute. If we want, next year we can modify it into a version of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, or just the filling to a fluffernutter sandwich. Or we can take our own costumes (wolves, for those playing at home) and turn her into a tiny little Red Riding Hood.

I mean, I would say that we’re doing this because she won’t remember, but there’s going to be pictures for evidence. And kids who come to our door will end up seeing her.

Plus, there’s some new evidence that, until kids are about 5 or so, they actually remember their birthing experience. If only we’d known THAT long enough before Halloween. We could have come up with a really terrifying costume for her.

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