The Nugget Chronicles: Littlest Fashionista

Buying baby clothes is hard. Not because there is a shortage of cute clothes for your tiny human, but, because, unless you want to look like a hoarder of tiny pants, you have to pick out the best possible clothes. You want something that’s going to allow you to show off the personality that your child has started to demonstrate, in colors that suit their skin tone, and with fabrics that are not only comfortable, but incredibly washable.

Thankfully, Nugget has decided that she’s more than willing to help us out on the clothing angle. Not when we’re at the store buying them (she doesn’t have language skills yet), which is probably for the best. I mean HawtWife is already a fashion designer, and I’m not sure if I’m quite ready to be told by both of the women in my house that I just have no idea how to put together a wardrobe.

Closet

No, this isn’t my closet. I have more pastels.

No, Nugget helps us out after she’s dressed. She lets us know if she’s content with the clothes we’ve dressed her in, or if she’s less than thrilled with our choices. And when she is displeased by her clothing, she lets us know. In one of the only ways that she currently has for expressing her displeasure.

Don’t worry. She doesn’t release the waterworks. She saves tears for other events, like when she’s scared by the thought of Daddy being upside down, or when HawtWife laughs too loud (an almost daily occurance), or when we’re clearly five seconds behind in feeding her. So no, she doesn’t cry to let us know that she doesn’t like the cut or color of her wardrobe for the day.

Instead, she just releases bodily fluids all over it. Sometimes, she’ll decide that she is going to go full TARDIS-bladder on it, and pee through everything. More often than not, she’s just learned at a young age what it takes a fair number of people until college to fully grasp.

A shirt, once puked on, gets changed immediately for a clean shirt. Or as immediately as possible.

Sure, it could be related to something else. It could just be the time of day (she seems to have these instances a bit more when she’s just woken up from a long sleep). It could be that she’s eaten too quickly. It could be that somewhere along the lines she’s picked up some fast food, and has decided that she needs to get rid of it (wise child that she is). But a fair number of mornings involve dressing her for the day, giving her the first real feeding, and then changing her out of whatever clothes we put her into so that she isn’t sitting in a pukey outfit all day long.

The ironic thing is that it tends to be a lot of the same clothes that she gets sick on. There’s a couple of onesies that Nugget has that I don’t believe have seen a drop of spit up. And there’s some others that haven’t ever lasted more than a couple of hours before she has befouled them with her internal juices becoming external stains. There doesn’t seem to be much rhyme or reason to it, but some clothes are just not meant for Nugget’s long term wear.

I’m just hoping she grows out of this by the time she’s shopping for her own clothes. Otherwise that could be a really awkward trip to the mall.

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